Happy Taco Tip #3: When Traveling with Babies....

...use diapers that are a couple sizes bigger than what you usually use. I don't know why, but sitting in a car seat for more than two hours usually equates to blow outs and complete outfit changes. A larger diaper can prevent this most of the time.

Can't Get It Out of My Head

This song and "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need" are songs I want played at my funeral .... Sorry to take a sudden turn into morbidity 

Happy Taco Idea #1: A Little Time

I've noticed Fiona's increased desire for attention now that Hildebrand is here.

Often when I'm trying to accomplish some thing like folding laundry, feeding Hildebrand, or reading the dialogues of Plato ( I'm a nerd), Fiona refuses to just entertain herself.

However, I've noticed that if I give her some attention, maybe as little as a few minutes, she seems to mellow out and find some occupation for herself. This usually gives me time to complete whatever task is at hand, or at least make head way.

Perhaps I can avoid more power struggles in the future if I just exercise patience and give her five minutes of my time reading or playing.

Motherhood 101

From Henry B. Eyring's talk, "A Law of Increasing Returns" 

"The other day, Elizabeth, age two, saw the picture of her father in the paper. She said, “That’s Dad. He wants to change with me.” That doesn’t mean much to you. In fact, it might even confuse you because you might not know she means help her father change, not get changed herself. It means a lot to me because I’m the guy who sits on the floor when she says, “You sit here.” I’ll tell you something. All she has to do is hand me those shoe trees one time and then say, “Let me kiss your head” (which, as you can see, is easy to hit), and you can mark anything owed me on the marriage account “Paid in full.”

I recognize that’s easy for a father to say. Mothers invest so much more in children that a kiss from a little girl still leaves a lot for the future. Men and women working outside the home deal mostly with early crops and with the law of diminishing returns. In the home, they spend far more on late crops and the law of increasing returns. It’s important to remember that. It could help a woman understand why arguments for a career and little time spent rearing children are so tempting. And it might help a man understand why a child trampling on the teachings of the home may tear at his wife even more than at him. His paycheck comes often. Hers may come a few times in her life. And now perhaps, because of the choice of a child, one check may not come at all. 

But for men and women, obsessed as they should be with the eternal results that take so long, it helps to see the blessings already in hand. The prettiest flowers I’ve ever seen were among rocks near the tops of mountains. That must have been partly because I worked so hard to get there, for something else. And then, suddenly, there they were. By forcing yourself to look at them, at the blessings around you, it will be easy to do what King Benjamin suggested: “O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!” (Mosiah 2:19).

Among the reasons we ought to be thankful is that it will improve our vision. And with an eye on today’s blessings you’ll have more staying power for the distant goal."

O how this helps me to always wish I would be stronger and more giving, exerting more and enduring well.

The Happy Taco Tip #4: Shop for FREE

No this is not a scam.

But have you ever noticed that sometimes you just want to experience the pleasure of getting out of the house, going some where different, picking out what you want, and taking it home?

Sometimes you just want to shop for the sake of shopping.

Admittedly, leisurely browsing the racks looking for a deal can be amusing, albeit expensive and fostering borderline hoarding.

The next time you feel the desire to aimlessly peruse, stop by the library rather than the local shops.

You find something matching whatever fancy you are currently entertaining, take it home use it and then bring it back when you're done.

Such a plan would be infinitely cheaper, provided you respect due dates.

Reading will also do so much more for your life than a pair of cheap shoes bought on sale ever will

Happy Taco Tip #3 -- Squat Your Baby to Sleep

I have a two year old and a 10 week old,this rarely equates to diligence in gym attendance. Soone thing I do to guarantee that I get at least some form of exercise everyday is squatting instead of rocking or swaying Hildebrand asleep for naps and bed time.

That's right, I do squats or lunges while singing a lullabies.

If I'm feeling really ambitious, I try to be as smooth and fluid with my movements as possible, which means my muscles are always engaged.

I make sure I'm using proper form so as not to injure my lower back or knees.

My baby will only get bigger so there will always be a challenge

"Squat-a-bye baby in the tree top....."

Seasons

Spring. Summer. Autumn. Winter. Spring. Summer. Autumn. Winter. Spring. Summer. Autumn...

Nobody ever complains about the endless repetitions of nature, the predictablity, the mundaneness of spring always following winter and summer always preceding autumn. No one.

So what is so inherently different about feed, burp, change, nap, wake, feed, burp change?

Like the the song by Five for Fighting, you have 100 years to live, so at 25 I'm at the cusp of the summer of my life,- the time that makes you break a sweat, and this is just how it should be. For 99.9% of the population of this world throughout history, life has been work, labor, and struggle. Yet there seems to be a pervading notion of amusement and escape as the bread of life in our current niche of time and space.

However hot the summer may be, there is much to be savored. Trips to the beach, ice cream, gardening, sunshine, pools, camping, etc. So, though day in and day out child rearing may consume the bulk of my time, there is much to be enjoyed. Waking up this morning, I still had Hildebrand snuggled close to me since I fell asleep while nursing him in the wee small hours of the morning. I cannot get over how sweet the intonations of Fiona's "Yes, mommy" sound. Absolute peace and contentment fill my heart when the three of us head out for a morning walk. I'm never without a sense of anticipation of Hero's arrival home from work.

Life is not a roller coaster. Roller coasters are thrilling, terrifying, and exhilarating every second you are on it. Life is a road trip, long, sometimes boring, sometimes nervewracking and seemingly never ending , but the destination is worth the effort. When you look back, you cannot believe that the journey is travelled and you wonder whether or not you fully appreciated the view and whether you really needed that $3 overpriced, nutritionally vacant  candy bar instead of the smushed, homemade PB&J sandwich you packed.

This is but a season of my life and at its end I will inherently wish I had celebrated it more. I cannot enjoy every moment, but I can begrudge the lackluster moments less.

My children are my treasures because I decided to value them as such and put off for tomorrow what can be done tomorrow and do now what can only be done today.

First Impressions

When the nurses handed me Fiona for the first time, my immediate thought was, "this is an Asian alien baby".

With Hildebrand, my first thought was, "This is a white child".


I am the soul of poetic motherhood.

The Singing House

The following story I found in a church manual epitomizes the kind of homemaker I want to be: eschewing things that matter little and emphasizing what cannot be taken away.

"Now can I go over to Jimmy’s, mother?’ he asked.

“ ‘But Fred,’ I [said], ‘you were over there yesterday and the day before. Why not have Jimmy come here today?’

“ ‘Oh, he wouldn’t want to.’ Fred’s lip quivered in spite of his six years of manhood. ‘Please, mother.’

“ ‘Why do you like Jimmy’s house better than ours, son?’ I pursued. It came to me suddenly that Fred and all his companions were always wanting to go to Jimmy’s house.

“ ‘Why,’ he explained hesitatingly, ‘it’s ’cause—it’s ’cause Jimmy’s house is a singing house.’

“ ‘A singing house?’ I questioned. ‘Now what do you mean by that?’

“ ‘Well,’ Fred was finding it hard to explain, ‘Jimmy’s mother hums when she sews; and Annie-in-the-kitchen, she sings when she cuts out cookies; and Jimmy’s daddy always whistles when he comes home.’ Fred stopped a moment and added, ‘Their curtains are rolled clear up and there’s flowers in the windows. All the boys like Jimmy’s house, mother.’

“ ‘You may go, son,’ I said quickly. I wanted him out of the way so I could think.

“I looked around my house. Everyone told me how lovely it was. There were oriental rugs. We were paying for them in installments. … We were paying for the overstuffed furniture and the car that way, also. Perhaps that was why Fred’s daddy didn’t whistle when he came into the house. …  

“I … went over to Jimmy’s house, even if it was ten o’clock and Saturday morning. It came to me that Mrs. Burton would not mind being interrupted in the middle of the morning. She never seemed to be in a hurry. She met me at the door with a towel around her head.

“ ‘Oh, come in. I have just finished [cleaning] the living room. No indeed, you are not interrupting. I’ll just take off this headdress and be right in.’

“While I waited, I looked around. The rugs were almost threadbare; the curtains … tied back; the furniture, old and scarred. … A table with a bright cover held a number of late magazines. In the window were hanging baskets of ivy … , while a bird warbled from his cage hanging in the sun. Homey, that was the effect.

“The kitchen door was open and I saw Jerry, the baby, sitting on the clean linoleum, watching Annie as she pinched together the edges of an apple pie. She was singing. …  

“Mrs. Burton came in smiling. ‘Well,’ she asked, ‘what is it? For I know you came for something; you are such a busy woman.’

“ ‘Yes,’ I said abruptly, ‘I came to see what a singing house is like.’

“Mrs. Burton looked puzzled. ‘Why, what do you mean?’

“ ‘Fred says he loves to come here because you have a singing house. I begin to see what he means.’

“ ‘What a wonderful compliment!’ Mrs. Burton’s face flushed. ‘But of course my house doesn’t compare with yours. Everyone says you have the loveliest house in town.’

“ ‘But it isn’t a singing house,’ I objected. ‘… Tell me how you came to have one.’

“ ‘Well,’ smiled Mrs. Burton, ‘if you really want to know. You see, John doesn’t make much. I don’t think he ever will. He isn’t that type. We have to cut somewhere, and we decided on non-essentials. … There are books, magazines, and music. … These are things the children can keep inside. They can’t be touched by fire or [financial problems] so we decided they were essentials. Of course good wholesome food is another essential. … The children’s clothes are very simple. … But when all these things are paid for, there doesn’t seem to be much left for rugs and furniture. … We don’t go into debt if we can avoid it. … [However] we are happy,’ she concluded.

“ ‘I see,’ I said thoughtfully. I looked over at Jerry and Fred in the corner. They had manufactured a train out of match boxes and were loading it with wheat. They were scattering it a good deal, but wheat is clean and wholesome.

“I went home. My oriental rugs looked faded. I snapped my curtains to the top of the windows, but the light was subdued as it came through the silken draperies. … [My house] was not a singing house. I determined to make it sing” (May Morgan Potter, “The Singing House,” as quoted by Reed H. Bradford in “Priorities,”Instructor, Nov. 1969, 410, 415).

Why Do I Blog?

As a child of the social media explosion, the notion of privacy and discretion prevailed upon to my almost wanting to give up all social media, were it not for those few long distance love ones. I didn't want to aspire to someone else's attention or unload my burdens and pleasures on an unsuspecting private group of friends and acquaintances. So you can understand why any musings over having a blog were quickly brushed aside. I had more important things to do. I had spent enough of my life focused on drawing attention to myself, now I want to immerse myself in my family and in helping others in my own sphere of influence.

Yet one day I had to concede that there were too many voices deriding motherhood, homemaking, and marriage. We needed more people who spoke of the good that they feel in these vitally important roles. I needed to put in my two mites of support for what the world needs most: more focus on families and others and less on ourselves.

So that is why I blog, because I am happy and love my life and my family and want others to know what joy it all can be . I want to pass on what I have learned and support others who are having hard times or adjusting to this life.

Give Early and Give Freely

Yesterday afternoon I was amused to find Christmas merchandise already being installed at the store I was shopping at. Perhaps it put me in the mood to compile my list of "who gets what" for Christmas . I'm already working on a sweater for my two month old son, Hildebrand, as well as his baby quilt. Currently, I'm shopping around for what yarn I will use to make Fiona's, my almost two year old, dress with. We don't buy many gifts for our children for Christmas, at least we don't plan to. Of course I must purchase supplies to make gifts, but it seems such a greater investment to spen $5 or more dollars on what may become a prized heirloom than equal amounts of money spend on cheap toys to be broken and discarded. Santa is bringing a doll house and a toy truck. Mother and Father bought new books and made them sweaters and quilts. We keep Christmas modest and simple because we want to give our children the gift of appreciation for what they have and for our family.

There is a talk by President Henry B. Eyring that he gave at BYU some 30 or more years ago entitled "Gifts of Love". It has greatly shaped my philosophy of what kind of Mother I am trying to be. In the talk, he speaks to college students of the need to develop talents and skills now, not for themselves, but as gifts of love to their children. The ability to work with your child to help them understand their algebra homework, the ability to express your love through a letter to a child that is far from home and in adverse circumstances,the gift of a righteous parent, and so on.

Before I practiced my work for myself and my own fulfillment and fame. However, I have since changed in understanding and use my talents to benefit  my loved ones. This part of the reason that I blog,to share what I know and feel to help and encourage others, but also to develop my written expressions of thought so that my letter writing might bring that much more enjoyment to my children when they are away..  Other gifts I endeavor to give are : reading, music, art, mathematics, languages, service to others, my testimony.

I read and sing to my children often. I recently bought a sketch book and pencils so that I might sit down next to Fiona while she colors every morning and practice my drawing. She loves to watch me color I her coloring book with her. Imagine her wonder as she watches me revive my dormant drawing skills, it may inspire her to color more, or at least keep her occupied and calm a minute or two longer. I have kept my German books with plans to add basic German vocabulary to some of the activities I do with Fiona. Mathematics will have to wait until children have started school. I can babysit for free and bring dinners and visits to those in need and who are lonely and the children may come with me as well. They will witness, as I did with my mother, generosity to others.

Every day I try to live better than the next that my life may bear my testimony for me in the eyes of my children, lest they not listen when I try to do so verbally. This is all I can do but love them and love The Lord that they might do so as well in their turn.

Happy Taco Tip #2

Don't give your kids the toys from their happy meals. Save them for stocking stuffers around Christmas time.

Beautify Yourself Friday (Happy Taco Goal #1)

I have a goal. Friday, the ubiquitous date night, also tends to be at the end of a taxing week. However,
starting today I have implemented a plan for physical, if not personal renewal. No matter what, Friday morning I must have a shower--no excuses! No "just wake up with the children", no more "I have ultra dry skin, so it's ok not to shower today", no more of any of that. On Fridays, merely not being a purveyor of stench is inadequate. I must be a regular ad for Chanel. So on Fridays I must bathe. I'm not stopping there, however, this shower will not be just the basic scrub-a-dub. I'm pulling out the big guns and shaving those legs, and while we're at it --bring out the homemade scrub for exfoliating.

And nap time? Fridays I forgo the morning load of laundry, destined to be folded whilst babes take a midday slumber. During nap time I will treat myself to a home mani, pedi and facial, maybe even set my hair in curls if its been a good day.

Why all this fuss? Because I find Hero immensely irresistible. Remember when you were single and dating how you pulled out all the stops for a date if you really liked him. You polished and preened yourself for anywhere up to three hours before hand. You consulted friends and roommates as to what to wear. You had designated "date" clothes. You loved this. It was the one aspect of single dating that was awesome all of the time.

And as antique and sexist as the idea may seem, looking your loveliest to please your man is actually a pleasure, because you also look good for yourself. You pamper yourself, and take pride in your gorgeousness.

So even if its just another redbox rental and home popped popcorn in our pajamas (should I buy "date pajamas" then?)  I'll be looking and feeling great not just for myself, but for Hero because things are always better when shared, including me at my best.

So here's to a new goal! HERE! HERE! Join me as you wish, but at least wish me luck.

Happy Taco tip #1: A Balanced Meal

How to plan a balanced meal? -- let's just cut to the chase, you want each meal to consist of at least a protein, a carb, and a fiber (ie fruits and veggies). That's it plain in simple. If you want to be a little more thorough, then portions come into play, but this post is a "tip" so brevity is key-- protein, carb, fiber.

In alphabetical order: carb, protein, fiber.

Example?

Enter the beauty of the classic PB& J, the savior of frazzled and rushed mommies everywhere. This little baby has it all: carbs ( bread), fiber ( jam), protein (peanut butter).

Don't get caught up on the misproportion of fruits to carbs and protein, or the sugar content. You'll repent and do better tomorrow or even at dinner time, but on a hard day just know that that easy and well beloved old sandwich is good enough to pass muster at the Happy Taco.

The Origins of the Happy Taco

My husband, Hero, and I have backgrounds as diverse as you can imagine. A regular, old case of opposites attract. His family consists of Panamanians, Japanese, and Wyoming cowboys. His Dad is a retired army veteran, so they all have lived in many different places. Meanwhile, I'm the product of English colonists who came all the way across the Atlantic to Virginia and stayed put for 400 years until post ww2 brought my grandfather over to Germany, where he met and married my grandmother.
(Coincidently, this is how Hero's parents met, only the army sent his grandfather to Japan. In case you're wondering Hero's parents met while the army stationed his dad in Panama. Go Army!). Hero grew up on Soba, I had spaetzle. His parents' home is all carpets and take your shoes off at the door, my parents' home is all wood floors and keep your shoes on. They like wasabi with their sushi and salsa with their tomales, we like horseradish with our brats and butter on our biscuits. Point taken?
Anyway, when Hero and I were dating, I made a joke of pretending to be a restaurant whenever his brother Yan would call. This particular "restaurant" poked a little fun at his Asian/Hispanic roots and was called "The Happy Taco"--imagine a Mexican restaurant run by Chinese people with dishes such as "teriyaki chicken quesadillas", "sushi burritos", and "fried Spanish rice".

So when I decided to start blogging, I had to find a name for it that wasn't too cutesy, self important, or personal, but genuine and fun-- so there you have it, The Happy Taco! ( now serving sauerkraut salmon roles and nachos con sausage gravy.

Sayonara, mein amigos,

Honey